NFL power rankings

1. Minnesota Vikings 2 (last week)

Limited to four sacks during bye.

2. New England Patriots 3

Brady still has inflated view of self.

3. Atlanta Falcons 7

Remaining one step ahead of their past.

4. Seattle Seahawks 5

Wilson cashing in on pocket change.

5. Pittsburgh Steelers 6

Will spare as many Dolphins as possible.

6. Philadelphia Eagles 4

Would feel better if loss wasn’t to Lions.

7. Green Bay Packers 8

Wondering what Samkon Gado is doing.

8. Dallas Cowboys 9

Rookies holding veteran hazing.

9. Oakland Raiders 12

Even Vegas thinks they gamble too much.

10. Denver Broncos 1

How the West was lost.

11. Buffalo Bills 16

Reportedly have an offense.

12. Washington 17

Leading polls in D.C.

13. Cincinnati Bengals 10

Hate to spend fall in New England.

14. Houston Texans 11

Love them some AFC South games.

15. Baltimore Ravens 13

Headed to New York in bandages.

16. Los Angeles Rams 14

Even Gurley’s donuts don’t have holes.

17. Kansas City Chiefs 15

Sir Charles may be their only hope.

18. Arizona Cardinals 19

Hoping to keep Jets offense on field.

19. New York Giants 18

Manning starring in Happy Feet II.

20. San Diego Chargers 23

Made believers out of Broncos.

21. Detroit Lions 26

Have mastered art of inconsistency.

22. New Orleans Saints 22

Defense running out of bye weeks.

23. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 24

Impressively underachieving.

24. Carolina Panthers 20

Going with cardboard cutouts in secondary.

25. Tennessee Titans 27

Properly overconfident vs. Browns.

26. Indianapolis Colts 29

Just fine other than blocking and tackling.

27. New York Jets 21

Get exercise chasing opposing WRs.

28. Chicago Bears 25

Cutler carrying Hoyer’s helmet.

29. Jacksonville Jaguars 28

Returning from bye blissfully unaware.

30. Miami Dolphins 30

Fans not interested in refund anymore.

31. San Francisco 49ers 31

Kaepernick hoping to ignite pilot light.

32. Cleveland Browns 32

Division III status revoked.